Calling all cis white gay men! Embrace change and get queer!
Luxembourg is often touted as a safe haven for LGBTQ+ people, but it would be far more accurate to call it a safe-ish haven for white cis gay men who conform to the capitalist and individualistic expectations of our society.
To me, 'gay' is a sexuality and just a sexuality. Meanwhile, 'queer' does not just describe sexuality and/or gender, but also one's political principles. To be queer is to understand that our struggles are interconnected - that being non-binary and fighting for my own recognition is part of the intersectional fight against capitalism, colonialism, Zionism, patriarchy, racism, sexism, classism, ableism, and more. That is absolutely not to say that fighting for my own rights means I am automatically fighting for the rights of everyone else. It means that I am aware of other people's struggles, educate myself on them to the best of my ability, take action in relation to them and understand that I am fighting a bigger cycle of oppression that affects all of us in various ways. THAT is what it means to be queer - to stand in solidarity with others and actively fight for a better future for all of us, not just people who look like us.
Luxembourg’s queer scene is overwhelmingly populated by white, capitalist, cis gay men (here's looking at you Bettel) – the kind of men who will treat Pride like a party and not also a protest, the kind of men who will misgender left, right and centre, the kind of men who can demonstrate extreme misogyny. The kind of men who are unaware of the queer histories they help white- and cis-wash, not knowing that Stonewall and Pride started with trans POC women.
Luxembourg is seen as some kind of ‘queer haven’ because two gay men can fulfill the capitalist normie dream of getting married and having kids in relative peace here (I say ‘relative’ here as there still continue to be difficulties in adoption for the non-birthing parent, although many capitalist gays have financial privilege that at least makes this process easier). Of course, it is important that what is accessible to the straights is accessible to us - I fully support everyone having the right to get married and to have children. However, what I do take issue with is when when people stop after their own battles have been ‘won’, when they are satisfied because they are fine (for now), so why does anyone else matter? That’s the very definition of privilege…
Where were the Pride crowds at Megaphone's Take Back the Night march, which focused on the lack of safety felt by non-cis men in Luxembourg? Where were the Pride Run crowds at the Palestine protest outside of the Chambre des Deputees, or any of the Palestine protests taking place nearly every Saturday? Where are all those gay men who regularly go to Letz Boys and yet I do not see at a single protest for other groups' rights?
Their privilege is only further proven by Luxembourg’s nightlife scene - Luxembourg severely lacks any sort of LGBTQ+ nightlife, however the very few LGBTQ+ places or nights that do exist almost always only cater to the ‘G’ - if not openly then in practice. Of course the gays need spaces to party too, but when more marginalised people enter gay spaces in Luxembourg - make some fucking room for us! Stop alienating and othering FLINTA* people, stop exoticising and tokenising queer PoC. Gays - check your privilege and make your spaces safe for everyone!
To white cis gay men reading this thinking 'what can I do?' - even asking that question is a good start. Get educated about issues and identities outside of cis gayness - Instagram is a great place to find profiles that shed light on a range of experiences and highlight injustices in different communities in Luxembourg and beyond (e.g. déi aner, megaphone, papaya), or just to follow individuals who hold different identities to you. Show the fuck up for other marginalised groups - go to protests, call out your friends when they make bigoted comments, show solidarity with others. White cis gay men with money - donate to fundraisers, contribute to communities, redistribute your wealth to people who need it. Don't be complacent - you might have all the rights you want, but the rest of us sure as fuck don't.
In the words of bell hooks: ‘’Queer' [is not] about who you're having sex with (that can be a dimension of it); but 'queer' [is] about the self that is at odds with everything around it and that has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.’ White cis gay men in Luxembourg often no longer find themselves at odds with racist, ableist and patriarchal Luxembourgish capitalism and do not have to fight to be seen and respected. Meanwhile, trans people, queer people of colour, disabled people,Palestinians and people facing genocides are left by the wayside. Of course we should celebrate the fact that Luxembourg is one of only 38 countries worldwide that allow gay marriage and gay people to adopt. But we absolutely cannot stop there - white cis gay men who have won many of their own battles should now use their more privileged position to support marginalised people with less privilege in Luxembourg.
That's why queerness isn't just an identity. In its true sense, the term ‘queer’ refers to difference and being outside the norm, and accepting that you're not ‘normal’ is a blessing. We realise that the world is not limited to the boxes people have put us in. Society pushes us to hate our differences, but once we realise that we are all weird, different and queer, we can join forces in fighting a world that imposes unrealistic, finite and categorisable identities. Queerness is about solidarity with all those who have felt marginalised and oppressed. That's why queer people (not white cis gay men, again, I am looking at you Bettel) have been at the forefront of demonstrations for Palestine, because we know what it's like to be manipulated by oppressors who make you believe that your existence is worthless. I invite you to embrace your queer identity and politicise it. Consider your uniqueness/queerness as a big ‘fuck you’ to the social norms of heteropatriarchy and support change, because change is queer.
